Why It's Okay To Be A Little Selfish

“The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.” 

― Ayn Rand, The Virtue of Selfishness

Sometimes it's okay to be a little selfish— not always, and certainly not as often as you would suppose— but there does exist a time and place when being a little selfish is a greater good than evil. When it comes to the needs of others we must be selfless, actively seeking ways to help better the world around us. However we must be selfish in the pursuit of ourselves. 

Hear me out for a moment because it is very important you don't misunderstand me. Being selfish in the pursuit of yourself does not mean putting yourself above others. Rather it means valuing yourself so that you in turn can value others. See the difference? We pursue ourselves in order to pursue others. 

We as 20somethings are an interesting bunch. As millennials we have simultaneously been accused of being both narcissists and philanthropists, a generation who enjoys taking a selfie and posting it to Instagram as much as we do volunteering for charity, pioneering a new age of giving in companies such as charity:water, Kiva, Toms and Warby Parker. Can we be both selfless and selfish? Have we simply been misdiagnosed by a media which doesn't understand us? Annoyingly enough the answer is both yes and no. 

Perhaps the problem lies in the label itself, selfish. We are not so much selfish as we are self-absorbed, the age of the Internet teaching us to constantly share of ourselves without ever asking us to explore who we are. Ah, perhaps we have reached the crux of the problem. We share everything, stupid minute details about our lives which 20 years ago would have simply been called vanity. We share what we ate for lunch, what we think about politics and Buzzfeed's latest list of "The 52 Most Adorable Corgis You've Ever Seen". We share everything and nothing all at once, self-absorbed, but not inherently selfish. 

We have become selfish about the wrong things, pursuing material things and popular trends above all else. We are constantly told by magazines, blogs and TV shows what to buy, wear and do, without ever being told who or how to be. It's time to be selfish in the pursuit of ourselves or as Socrates once said, know thyself. 

As 20somethings we've largely forgotten to get to know ourselves, in favor of a culture which values things above all else. But the reality remains if you don't know who you are, if you're not selfish in the pursuit of yourself every once and again, then you'll never be able to better the world in any meaningful way. 

Though it may sound strange I hope you're taking the time to be selfish, carving out the alone time which is so important to understanding who you are. It may be crazy, but in the absence of solitude you can live your whole life without every really understanding the essence of you: your passions, dreams and aspirations. And again, if you want to help the world then you absolutely must know these things.

So get away, even if it's just for an afternoon. Spend some time getting to know yourself in the absence of everyone and everything around you. Bring a journal along, write down your thoughts as you mull yourself over, and slowly but surely a picture of yourself will emerge more clearly than ever before. This person is the one who will change the world, so remember it's okay to be a little selfish every now and then.

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