There's No Right Way To Do It

We've already established that your twenties are hard-- and largely undiscussed. However I would go further and argue that of your twenties, your mid-twenties are the hardest. Everyone has an idea of who they want you to be, but the reality is you have no clue who you want to be.

Your mom wants you to "meet someone nice" and start producing grandchildren as soons a humanly possible. Your dad, the more sensible of the two, wants you to find a good job and start saving money. Your friends want you to move to a trendy city with them so you can play Girls, endlessly and wittily recounting the drama of your own 20something lives (dibs on being Hannah).

Your student loans want you to get a move on things so they can stop collecting interest (considerate as they are). And finally the whole universe, like your mother, wants you to get engaged so that you too can join the legions of 20somethings getting engaged daily on Facebook (thank goodness Facebook invented the hide button, because I don't think my fragile single heart could take another "got engaged" story on my mini-feed). 

And you, oh master of the universe, straight-B+, recently graduated, newly hatched adult— what would you like to be?

"Oh me? How kind of you to ask.Well, I guess what I really want is just to be happy (and not broke, if at all possible)." 

"Happiness is nice, but it can't pay the rent," says the omniscient voice of your inner narrator (who strangely enough sounds like a cross between your dad and the great and powerful Oz). 

And this is where the panic sets in for the mid-twentysomething— the moment you realize you have to support yourself while trying to be happy— at the same time. 

Here is where my opinion may differ from your father/mother's, because personally I take huge issue with the idea that there is a set way of doing things. Yes, like every good American, I believe in hard work, pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and all the rest, because in the end there is no substitute for some good old-fashioned hard work. What I don't believe however is that there is a "right way" of getting to where you want to be, especially for our generation.

What Am I Doing With My Life?

If you are here, it's likely you belong to the 99% of 20somethings who also have no idea what they want to do with their life. I don't and I'm the author of this website— dedicated to helping you get your life together in your 20s. But the way I see it I'm not a fraud, just a fellow traveler bumbling down the same unknown road as you. 

The problem is twofold, because to know what to do with your life you have to have two things— passion and direction. And unfortunately for us you really do need both. Not to say that life won't take you to amazing places until you've figured out both pieces of the puzzle, but rather that you wont really feel like you're in control of your life until you have both. 

Say you're passionate— you love music— it's what you live, eat, and breathe. Cool, but what are you going to do with your passion? How does your love of music make you a living? How does it help others? How does it connect you to the world? What direction are you going with this thing that is burning inside of you?

Or maybe you've got direction— you are a Type A personality— you always have been. It doesn't matter where you are, you are on the up and up. You get promoted because you work hard, no matter the task. But at the end of the day you have this feeling in the pit of your stomach— is this all there is? What am I working so hard for? Is it so I can buy things— a big house, new car, 47 inch LCD flat screen? Have I become my parents? Do I even want this life? 

It's tricky getting inside your own head, a whole world of mess to get tangled up in. So instead we live on the surface of our own lives, never delving deep enough to figure out what we want, what we really really want (obligatory Spice Girls reference). But I'll tell you now, that feeling in the pit of your stomach will never go away if you keeping living your own damn life on the surface. 

Okay I've convinced you— now what?

The Best Advice

Amy Poehler is by far one of my favorite people on the planet. She's smart, funny, a little bit over the top, and most importantly is best friends with Tina Fey. As if she wasn't cool enough she recently started a YouTube channel called Smart Girls at the Party, "a place for funny, thoughtful and deceivingly educational programming.The channel celebrates girls, friendships and spontaneous dance parties!" #winning

Although Smart Girls at the Party is directed at teens and tweens, I recently found one of her videos so helpful that I thought I'd share it with you here. After all, sometimes the best advice you can give is someone else's— so here is Amy's advice on getting someone to notice you.

"The way to try and get guys to notice you is to stop trying— to let go of the idea of trying." 

She's right. In the end we can't be someone other than who we are, and trying to make ourselves someone we're not for the sake of another only leads us further and further away from ourselves.

"You don't have to let go of what you want.. but this feeling of trying... of what can I do to change myself to get people to like me is kind of a tough one, because then you start to think about the external."

So what's the answer?

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5 Things I Wish I Would Have Known About Money In College

College is fun, but if you're not careful it can be a breeding ground for bad financial habits. It's been almost two years since I graduated and I'm learning the realities of post-graduate life are much different than life inside your alma mater.

So without further ado, here are the 5 things I wish someone had told me about money while I was still in college, hopefully they are helpful to you.

1. Pay back the interest on your student loans while you're still in school. 

You may not know this but your loans are earning interest while you are going to school. Interest is how the bank makes money for loaning you it's money. Not only are you loans earning interest, but that interest is being compounded.

This means after you graduate and start repaying your loans, you will now be paying back— with interest— the amount you originally borrowed (a.ka. the principal) + the interest your loan earned while you were in school (compounded interest). 

So even if you didn't fully understand what I was saying, the moral of the story is get acquainted with your student loans now, hop on Sallie Mae's website (the largest student loan lender), and start paying back your interest. A few hundred dollars now may save you thousands of dollars in the future. 

2. Save something, anything. 

This is more for principle than anything else. You likely won't be making major contributions to your life savings while still in college, but getting used to saving a portion of your paycheck is a good practice for the future. Start with small amounts, deposit 10% of your paycheck into a savings account or if you want a fun way to save try the $5 savings challenge. Every time you get a $5 bill don't spend it, save it. A little bit goes a long way when it comes to saving, so the important thing here is to simply get started.

And remember, don't touch your savings account or you kind of negate the whole purpose.

Why I Keep Writing About Being Single

I hate to say this but the reason I write about being single is because I think about it, a lot.

"Am I a feminist failure?", I wonder to myself.

The Leslie Knope (Parks & Recreation reference) in me feels like I should be spending my time advancing/getting a career or perhaps doing my part to chip away at the old glass ceiling. This would be productive. Instead, my romantic gooey core has turned me into what often feels like a twelve year-old girl trapped in a twenty-three year old's body.

Am I a walking Taylor Swift song? 

I get upset at myself. Why do I care if I'm single? Then at my family. It'll happen when you least expect it. Then at my friends in relationships. The timing isn't right. And then in a Legally Blonde-esque moment I get mad at the TV. "LIAR!", I shout to no one in particular– the universe perhaps.

And then I pull myself together and I write. I write so I will stop thinking about it.